I don't wanna survive. I wanna live.

I think deep inside, all of us desire that.

But somehow...maybe cos of regrets...or other things we cannot let go.

We need to survive for a little while longer.

If we survive for a little while longer, we can live.

Somehow, surviving becomes a way of life.

And life becomes a torture.

Thats why...don't survive. But live on.

Confusing? It really isn't.

Fly forth, guided by your heart ; 13:19




You're not worthy. Nor ready.

The world is going mad.
Or maybe its just me.

Its as if I'm watching...watching everyone fall...
Just watching.
Because I'm trapped in a glass chamber.

Two days to the end of Nano. Epic fail.
Two days to two others.

I've made up my mind not to care about unimportant things.
But somehow, my heart doesn't listen.

I suddenly wish for it to rain. Rain sooooo heavily, but not to the point of a thunderstorm.

I wanna stand out there and let the rain wash it all away.

It feels nice, at any rate.

Fly forth, guided by your heart ; 01:21




What is truth and are lies?

Who knows, really.

*shrugs*

Lies that one believes in...becomes truth to self.

A truth you are to hold in disbelief. Is a lie.

And thus.

True or false.

Who knows, maybe the sky is really green, but our eyes screw the colors and scientists don't know.

Maybe color blind people are actually those who see truly, and we have false vision.

Maybe darkness is reality, and all we see is illusion.

:P

Fly forth, guided by your heart ; 00:37




Nikon D40. Epic win.

Fly forth, guided by your heart ; 23:46




I'm confused by myself.

I confuse myself.

I'm a walking stick of disaster.

Cos I'm not a ball, right?

Here's some random stuff I typed out the other day.

The world is like a circle. There is neither a beginning or an end. All that matters is that there is a beginning and an end. What happened once might well repeat itself, or manifest itself in something other than what it was when it first came to be. Yet no one can tell when it first came to be, since there is to be said no set beginnings. Yet the flaw of this theory is there must have well been a beginning, a point in which all things began.

As such, the theory of the circle does not matter, nor make sense in such a situation, for without a point for all things to begin, how could anything be started? This is indeed a question that has long been pondered upon, and yet no true answer has been found. Perhaps we are denied this answer because we are deemed unworthy by some higher power. Or perhaps we are only granted the understanding only upon the time whence we surpass what it means to be human, which would be equivalent to transcending death itself.

Yet still we ponder. And here I work, trying to reason things out in a question that has no said beginning, nor any end in visible sight. For asking a question such as this would be equivalent to asking, "the chicken and the egg, which came first?" Some argue that since the chicken must have hatched from an egg, the egg came first. Yet still others rebutt, without a chicken to lay the egg, where must the egg have come from?

It is my belief that there is a beginning and an end, but no certain beginning, nor any set end. When we are born, that is a beginning for us. For the world, it is nothing. And when we die, our time as humans draws to a close, but still time flows around us. Our decomposing bodies turn into nutrients and feed the trees, which in turn will have their end. As such, there is a singular beginning or a singular end, but this beginning and end is as insignificant as we all are in comparison to the entire earth.

While saying this, let me first say that it is indeed true that we all make an impact on the people around us. But while our pride denies any possibility of it happening easily, we must as well admit that our death brings about no significant end to the people around us. We must not be so full of ourselves as to assume that when we die, the world dies with us.

The world flows as time does, and ignores the passing of man. Yet the world too will have an end, a time when the red dwarf is said to be set to go up in a massive ball of flames, impacting all that we thought invulnerable. Yet, though this may be the end of the world, our world, the universe still continues.

There is no real end, for eternity is what exists through it all. Time is but a measurement of ages come and gone, yet centuries upon centuries pass unnoticed, in what we call eternity.

The conclusion at which I have arrived upon the end of this frenzied reflection, is that the world is not a circle. It is instead, a triangle.

If that is an answer you are not willing to accept, then perhaps this would be the one for you. The universe is a circle. And we are but circles within a circle. And within our circles there are even more circles.

There is no beginning and no end. There is, however, A beginning and AN end.

If you've read to here, congrats. :P

Fly forth, guided by your heart ; 02:31




I got carried away playing the piano when I got back. My fingers hurt now.

Anyways, bored, not really in the mood to do anything much. :/ somehow.

My fingers are itching to play more.

But anyway. Tagged by max. As a reward for him getting my surname right, and for putting me as person 5, and just because I'm so bored, I'll do this.


1.The person who tag you is?
Maximillian Pallaeon

2.Your relationship with him/her?
Uh. Coursemates? Friends? Lecture buddy? Nano crew. XD

3.Your 5 impressions of him/her?
Hyper? Cheerful, friendly. Likes writing too. :D Uh. Learning to play FF. :X

4.The most memorable thing he/she had done for you?
O_O Lol. Uh.

5.The most memorable thing he/she had said to you?
Uh.

6.If he/she is going to be your lover, thing he/she has to improve on will be?
LOL this question is insane. XD

7. If she/he become your enemy, you will?
Oh damn. That be a friend I lost. T_T

8. (Repeat Question)
I heard you the first time. :P

9. What is it you want to tell him now?
Lol. Good luck with the boss now that you know the trick.

10. Your overall impression of him/her is?
A really nice guy. ^^

11. How do you think ppl around you will feel around you?
Friends or enemies?

12. The characters you love of yourself are?
Mostly look on the bright side of life? Take things as they come XD

13. On the contrary,the characters you hate yourself are?
Too emotional

14. The most ideal person you want to be is?
Me. Cos nothing beats being yourself.

15. For people that care and like you, say something to them.
Yay. <3 style="font-style: italic;">I realise, most of the people I wanna tag. Don't have blogs. DAMMIT. XD

1- Louis! :D See, more incentive for you to start a blog. :P
2- Jaslyn! Tatenshi! Cos you have a blog and I know you like doing random stuff too. ^^
3- Yong Gao. Cos you have a blog. I know you do.
4- Yi Lin! :D O's over le, very free de la.
5- Avrillll. Pig goes oink, you go do. :X
6- Jonathan! Snatching this tag from YL and Avril. XD
7- Eh......Zhen Yi. :X HAHAHA Cos I'm chatting with him now, so name comes to mind.
8- Bezner. This is a double tag, so you gotta go do it.
9- Isaiah. PUPPY GO DOOOO. :>
10- Nasution. Eggplant, do this when you get to book out k. ^^ Something to update your blog about.


19. If no. 7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?
HAHAHAHAHAHA. Gayyyyyyyy. :X

20. What is no. 2 studying about?
Eh. Some. Engineering thing.

21. When was the last time you had a chat with no. 3?
Today lol. Kendo. :D

22. What kind of music band does no. 8 like?
Rock. GnR, Motley, etc.

23.What is no. 10 doing now?
Sleeping?

24. Is no. 7 the sexiest person in the world?
Hmm. I don't know about that. :X But he's funny. ^^

25. Does no. 1 have any pets?
Eh. I don't think so. XD

26. Are no. 1 and 5 best friends?
Lol. Unless by some twist of fate they actually know each other, no.

27. What colour does no. 4 like?
I think...eh tou...Blue? :/

28. Where does no. 9 live?
Singapore. YCK.

29. Have you tried developing feelings for no. 8?
Lol if you mean in that way, nope. XD

30. Talk about something for no. 1
Insane. And you owe me a starbucks celebrationn. And pepper lunch. And marvellous cream. :X

31. Where is no. 2 studying at?
NYP

32. Does no. 5 and 9 get along well?
I'd say so. They're both lame at times. :X *runs in squares*

33. What is a hobby of no. 10?
Eh. Manga?

34. What is the surname of no. 5?
Sheck. If I'm wrong, I'll eat my shoe.

35. Is no. 4 single?
Yep

36. Will you woo no. 3?
No, not into incest thanks. GORGOR. D: this question is mean.

37. How about 7?
I like the number 7. But I don't wanna woo a number. Hmm. *avoids* XD

38. Does no. 6 have any siblings?
Hmm. Now that you mention it. I don't really know.

Fly forth, guided by your heart ; 01:26




I mean, who do you know who can sprain their toe and wrist all in one day? :P

Yea. Uh, kinda had a fall. While running backwards. Practicing Hiki Men. :/

Shoulda rolled up my jeans laaaa. XD

Fly forth, guided by your heart ; 01:16





Bored, so uploading this for your entertainment. I think most of you wouldn't get it, unless you play WoW, or have got WoW obsessed friends. The latter applies to me. XD Hahahaha.

Lol there really is something going wrong, spinning out of control. And I don't know what it is.

Fly forth, guided by your heart ; 22:50




So here I am, trying to think of a way to rant about this here, to put things across in a way that no one much will understand.

Yes, I understand that its much easier to do a locked post on livejournal, so I'll be doing that later. XD For now, I'm bored, my eyes are closing but I don't really feel like sleeping, so here goes.

So warm its cold.
So cold its freezing.
So many its fun.
So alone it hurts.
So right, it's wrong.

There we go. XD

Haha. *blinks*

That made no sense at all, to me even. I'm just making it up with random words now. I'm feeling cold, oddly enough. XD

Fly forth, guided by your heart ; 01:08




This is...

I'm glad I tried, I'm really glad.

Yay, I can talk to Ren again. :D

But then.

Ahahahaha. Lets just attribute it to me going crazy. Yea. XD

K. Time to change blog song. >_>

Fly forth, guided by your heart ; 21:19




Hahahaha. Woke up at 7. Slept. Woke up at 8. Slept. Woke up at 8.30. Slept. Woke up at 9.50.

OH SHIT I'M LATE. XD

Yes yes, I am silly. But I think I had a random dream. :/ That's why I slept for 1h 20min.

Yea. Sorta remember the last part of the dream. :O Or maybe it was the whole dream. I dunno.

Hmm, I think Louis and Yi Lin are done with O's. XD Yay for them. Today's jonny's last day. WHEN'S SHECKS?! I think it was yesterday probably. :S

Haha. Yay. Can't wait for next wednesday. Haven't met the gang in so long. :D

Puppy and teamkilling on halo ftw. X) Poking moomoo cow and oinkoink and heehaw. XD

K. I'm really bored, but paying attention to lecture at the same time as I'm typing. Hahhaa. Feeling kinda fuzzy headed.

It's time to celebrate.

Fly forth, guided by your heart ; 10:52




Cos its enough, isn't it?

Enough already...

Just...enough...

Meh?

Lol, this just isn't like me at all. Bleh. :P

Fly forth, guided by your heart ; 00:19




As someone taught me.

Don't let the sadness control you right?

Even though its not really a sad feeling, but still, the piano piece wasn't helping the general mood here. XD

And gintama is random. VERY. XD

Fly forth, guided by your heart ; 00:30




I'm so freaking tired.

Life feels so boring these days. No meaning.

I smile...laugh...

But it just doesn't seem the same.

No, I'm not emo, nor am I sad.

It just feels.

Meaningless.

O'levels are nearly over.
Woohoo...

Fly forth, guided by your heart ; 23:57




I think I've figured it out.

What is missing.
What has been missing.

From here on out, there'll only be more growing.
I somehow must stay determined.

It might take awhile
But I'll take this style
Make it mine.

I just feel like this is what's gonna help me grow more, faster.
I don't care if I fail.
No matter what it entails.

This is what my heart desires.
The love that is required.
Has always been there.
Although I was a little scared.

Scared of failure.
Afraid to be imperfect.

All that no more.

No one is perfect.
Least of all me.

No one, even geniuses, are born knowing everything.
And I have so much learning to do.
I will.

And one day.
My dream will come true.

My words on a shelf.
From me to you.

Let me show you
How strong I am.

Let me show you, my love is true.
No matter if you think I'm a fool.

Hehe, talking to someone helped me make a realisation and a resolution. I believe this is what I need to make me stronger. Thanks Max. :D


Fly forth, guided by your heart ; 00:12




there's something shifting,
this same strong feeling
discomfort dealing
but leaves me wanting.

Bleh.

No idea what's going on.

I'm in LOVEEEEEEEEEEE. =>

D:< O_O @_@

Lol. Don't ask me what I'm doing. :P

And yes I'm in love.

With...writing. >_>

But seriously. It's jsut the unsatisfied feelign. I'm not happy with the state of things as they currently stand. There's something more I want.

Hehe, its all Glen Lasselnor's fault. ): He had to go all gay on me, even though all it is is...awe. :/

>_>

Fly forth, guided by your heart ; 22:30




new comic book i randomly saw in comics, and upon reading the synopsis, decided to get the first book and check it out. (yesyes, online, but it looked like it had potential, alright? :X)

And I don't know whether to regret that or not. I mean.

From now on, I'm gonna have another comic series to expand my allowance on. -o-

But. It's worth it. XD

It's about music, not rock or metal, but classical stuff? Trumpets, violins and all. >_>

Piano. <3

Len Tsukimori is. >w<

and Ryotaro Tsuchiura is so...I don't know. He's sweet, but then he's all "i'll kill you" aura sometimes? And when he and Len got stuck in the same room, it was HAHAHAHAHA. XD

I forsee a love triange.

Might even be a square.

Somehow. I just really like this series. XD

No fighting. But.

Music.

I've never had the inspiration to practice really really hard, I like music and all, but I jsut dont go mad over it like I do with writing. Perhaps cos i find it so hard. really shoulda practiced harder back when i had lessons.

but reading about all these people.

if only we had dedicated faculties in singapore's secondary school.

And I just read Ryotaro's profile. 181cm wth.. -o- I wanna be that tall XD

Fly forth, guided by your heart ; 22:03




Today. Sucked.

First this. then that. and now that.

Just kill me, alright? =.=

Lawl.

Not good at all.

Fly forth, guided by your heart ; 00:50




Yay. 6. I managed to get out of my bed :D

K. Off to begin work. :D We've got a full day (almost) ahead. X)

Fly forth, guided by your heart ; 06:22




So much for 5000. Lol. I met my base daily of 2000 tho, so that's not so terrible. Just quite.

Write-in was...so-so, a lil fun, met some new people, that was awesome.

At the end of Day 1, I have arrived at the conclusion that I need to procrastinate less.

Plus, the old language thingy seems odd right now, ever since I got home. Maybe I'm just tired. I'll re-read it when I get up tomorrow, and see if its just me. Edit LANGUAGE is all I'm allowed.

Formal, super formal, don't know how to explain it. >_>

K. Sleep. Nite.

6am alarm. Woo.

Fly forth, guided by your heart ; 00:18




So, Nano's officially started. >_> And my word count is pathetic, and here I am blogging. XD

K. 5000 words by the time I go to sleep tonight. Yay.

Fly forth, guided by your heart ; 12:55




eXiä

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